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Dear Diary,
​
Every burger is unique. I am, but a delicate slab of ground beef just looking to make it to McDonalds. My dream...filet mignon.
Dear Diary,
​
I had an itch "down there" and I scratched it. Then I scratched it some more. Then more...before I knew it there was, like, this explosion? I can't explain it, but it made a MESS! This is the first time that's ever happened. I hope it's normal? Anyways, it was a pretty great 43rd birthday.
Dear Diary,
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Just remember, you're not the only person on earth with herpes AND the clap at the same time....these things happen.
Dear Diary,
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I've done it! I came up with the BEST alliance name. GREEB. Because Beerg backwards. This will be the thing that finally gets my V-card punched.
Dear Diary,
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I peed standing up for the first time.
Dear Diary,
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If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you.
Dear Diary,
​
Arya and Dingo are great.
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